a brief moment of sanity

it was at the dawn,
when the rush of thought come upon me.
it was the windy morning that waking me up,
from my occupied mind,
my own bubble.

i decided to start daily running,
simply just to help me clear my mind,
even just for one tiny bit

in the midst of my morning routine,
the thought of running away,
suddenly pinch my sanity

but i can't disagree if this was supposed to help me,
to release the toxic away.
kind of.
a sort of pain-relieved in kind a way
whether it's in my mind or my body

this kinds help me to feel the pain,
to feel what am i supposed to feel,
to feel things i pushed aside,
at least i can tell the pain physically

just like when your legs are starting to wobbling from running too far,
your brain decide to went numb, shutting down in pain at the same time,
or your lungs were burning cause its lack of oxygen

it makes you realized,
if in that very moment,
you are very much alive

you should learn from this sort of wake up call,
embrace the pain.
you can feel the constant pain approach you,
which you've been brushing it off for awhile.

be thankful when you still feel the ache,
worry when you don't feel things at all

forget about those sappy playlist and tracks you've been listening non-stop,
all those comforting song just an escape,
a short bliss of your little bittersweet things called life.

the toxic, in your body, mentally or physically,
demands to be release and feel at the same time.
do whatever it is to you feel the pain,
not to ignore it away, that's not how it works.

the pain,
is an actual proof,
a constant reminder,
if you are only a human being
you got hurt,
and you get back on track.

don't let the pain take you over,
only the die ones do that,
that's why the death is, always, going to wait on the finish line